These pictures were taken this past Sunday at my old elementary school. It’s amazing how, even though I went to this school back in the 90’s, I can still have such vivid memories attached to this place.
When I was in my earlier years of schooling, both my parents worked full time. I went to a babysitter that I loved dearly, who had taken care of me since I was a tiny babe.
My friend and I (who I am still friends with and consider one of my best friends) both went to the same baby sitter. In second grade, our babysitter would pick us up from school, but she was always late. We would have to wait and wait after everyone else had gone home. She lived in walking distance from our school, but we were still very young to be walking home alone.
One day, we got the bright idea to walk to our babysitter’s home. Except, obviously, our babysitter would not have known what we did. We ended up making it home alright, but she was mad at us when she got home. We were both generally very good girls. We didn’t get into trouble. I especially never got into trouble. My babysitter yelled at us a little bit and said she would “have to tell our mother’s what we did.”
I, of course, was scared shitless. I was always the ‘good little girl!’ Each night I would go to bed with a sick stomach from the worry, scared with worry about when my mom was going to find out and punish me. I was wracked with anxiety.
For about a month this went on, because my babysitter forgot to tell my mom for a while. When my mom finally said something about it, she scolded me a little bit, but then dropped it. She told me how dangerous it was, and so on… but that was about it.
Even after my mom found out about it, for years to come I was wracked with guilt and anxiety about this event in my young life. I couldn’t think about it without a slight panic in my body.
It comes down to my sense of honor and doing what was right. I still to this day always have to do what it right, kind, and honorable. I was the same at 7 as I am at 27. We are who we are meant to be at core from the beginning. We stay that way, with some varying differences. The good, the bad, and the beautiful.
