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| Me, getting ready for senior prom. |
Last night was graduation for the seniors at my old high school. Seeing the bright lights of the stadium against the black sky and watching the stream of well wishers entering the stadium for the ceremony gave me a sense of déjà vu.
I felt a surreal “woosh” effect of being transported back to my graduation day. 17 years old, so young, so full of dreams, ready to bite into that apple… I wanted to jump in full force.
It’s hard to believe that it has been 9 years already.
Looking back at all that I have done in that time, it seem pretty significant. When you are actually going through it, you feel like you’re walking in place–like you’ll never get to that perfect point in your life. That point where all of your accomplishments have been accomplished and you can have a self satisfied sense of completeness.
What my 17 year old self of 9 years ago didn’t know is that, that feeling is forever. Nothing is ever perfect or complete. Things wouldn’t mean anything if they were. You wouldn’t want it to be, because that would mean an end to who you are.
In some sense I feel like the exact same person, in another I feel like I’m on another planet from that girl. Some days I feel like my teen years were just yesterday and others feel like I’ve lived 100 lifetimes since that time.
I guess at core, I am her and she is me–only better.